More bleeding

It started slowly again last night and continues, but I'm not going to the hospital this time. It's not as bad as before and I'm sick of emergency rooms. I have my first baby doctor appointment next week and a follow up ultrasound, so I'm just trying not to worry. There's always a nagging worry in the back of my mind, but I can't keep being stressed out. The tightness across the abdomen is no worse than before and the back pain is par for the course for me. Going through this time and time again sucks, but apparently my kid is already a fighter!

Morning sickness finally....ugh

It wasn't morning, but last night I got my first true nausea. I have my b/f out at 10:30 to find me ginger ale. Still feeling pretty nauseated today but getting through work. I have absolutely no desire to be here, I just want to be at home in my jammies, curled up on the couch watching Mythbusters. But, just 2 1/2 days and then it's the weekend. I think I can make it.

The bleeding's finally stopped, whew! I'll be glad when I know that everything is good for sure and that there are no more worries. I'm getting sick of being worried. It's tiring.

So bloody tired

I know it's a good sign to be tired because it means the baby is getting nutrients from me, but holy crap! Yesterday I was up early as usual, then slept on the couch off and on for most of the morning, then napped in the afternoon and went to bed at 9:30. Couldn't sleep at night of course, but at least I napped during the day.

I went to do some errands today and it was exhausting just walking around WalMart. I did take advantage of 'expectant mother' parking though. I was too tired to walk miles to the store. I felt kind of special!

I bought pickles today. Don't think it's a craving, I've always liked pickles, but I haven't had them in ages, so it's a little weird. I'm trying to eat healthy but some days it's hard. I am a pasta-holic but I'm trying.

My first baby doctor appointment is coming up and I've got a list going of things to talk to her about and making sure this level of tiredness is normal is one of them.

Insomnia sucks

I hate not sleeping. Sleep is the one perfect escape from life.

Before I got pregnant, I was on painkillers for chronic pain and took a sleeping pill (tranquilizer) every night to help me sleep.  The minute I found out I was pregnant, I went off the medications. I had forgotten how poorly I sleep and how mind numbingly depressing it can be. Lying in bed tossing and turning all night long, back sore, neck sore, getting more and more desperate for just one more hour of sleep. I had hoped that once the sleeping pills were out of my system it would get better, but it hasn't. I'm spending at least half my time in bed, awake and miserable. "to sleep, perchance to dream"-Shakespeare said it best!

Scary times in early pregnancy

I'm 38 years old and am in the first trimester of my first pregnancy.  I was told years ago that due to poly cystic ovarian syndrome that I would never get pregnant without help. Well, I did it! On December 2nd I took a home pregnancy test and it was negative. A week later I went to the doctor and on December 10, 2010 I got the good news! I was very excited and a little nervous, I am getting up there. Just a few days later, on December 14, 2010 I started bleeding, just spotting at first, then it got worse. I feared the worst and went to the nearest urgent care centre. After waiting and waiting and waiting, a pelvic exam was done and I was told that 50% of the time this leads to miscarriage and that I would need an ultrasound. The next day I was lucky to get the ultrasound and I saw my little blob and the heartbeat! The baby was alive!!!  I went back down to see the doctor and after a very long wait, they came and told me that there was something they couldn't decipher on the ultrasound report and they were waiting for clarification but that the baby was alive. I was so tired at that point, that that's all I cared about so I went home.

A week and a half later, early in the morning December 24, 2010, I woke up in what can only be described as a pool of blood. My heart sank, not again! Then I became really calm. This had happened before and everything was fine. Everything will be fine. As it was 2 in the morning and the last night of partying before Christmas, I decided to wait until later to go to the ER.  I went around 5:30 in the morning and there was no wait, thank god. While I was there, there were at least 3 other women in there with possible miscarriages. I felt so lucky by the time I left because all indications were that mine was still fine. One lady had lost hers and didn't react at all when they told her. Another one got whisked upstairs for an ultrasound before they even technically opened the department and another one got there just before I left so I don't know what happened to her. When I was getting the ultrasound and the technician went out to review the results with the doctor, I just stared at the ceiling saying, "fine, same as last time, fine, same as last time," over and over and over again.  The ultrasound tech came back and told me that the baby's heartbeat looked good and that growth was normal for 9 weeks 3 days. Whew!

I have what's called subchorionic hemorrhage.  In some cases it's because of a clot between the placenta and the uterine wall but in my case the placenta has pulled away from the uterine wall slightly. It happens in 1/3rd of pregnancies and when it does happen 50% of the time it ends in miscarriage. I've beaten it twice!!!

Apparently this bleeding can continue but I sure hope it stops. It's a little bit disconcerting to be needing pads while pregnant. I was kind of looking forward to the whole no bleeding thing. I have my first OB/GYN visit January 4th and a follow up ultrasound January 7th. Hopefully the bleeding will stop soon and I won't have to go through this again, as I get closer to the 12 week mark I'm feeling more confident.

I did a bunch of research on the Internet and didn't find a huge amount of information out there, so hopefully this blog will help someone in the same situation.

I will try to be as honest as possible and since pregnancy and child birth can be very messy, this blog may be too. The good, the bad and the ugly.