Unfortunately, I have some bad news. Saturday night we lost the baby. I was sitting at home, feeling kind of gross and uncomfortable, which was par for the course, when the discomfort became pain. Pain like I've never felt before. We went to women's hospital where luckily they have an obstetrical triage and we didn't have to go to the ER. Within about 45 minutes I had delivered. Baby was 16 weeks 4 days and had some rare defect which translates to mermaid baby. From the belly button down, baby wasn't developing-legs were fused together and no kidneys. There's no way baby could have survived. Apparently this condition is a 1 in 60,000 to 1 in 100,000 chance of this happening and it usually happens in insulin dependent diabetics so it was really a freak accident that it happened to us.
We got a keepsake box that we haven't looked at yet, but it has hand prints and a plaster cast of hands or feet (can't remember) pictures of baby and the blanket baby was wrapped in. They're doing testing to see if it was a boy or girl, but I still think girl. She had my nose. I couldn't get over it. My exact nose on that tiny little baby. To all those abortion nuts who say a fetus isn't a life, I have a great argument for them now. At 16 weeks I could recognize features from me or my b/f on that tiny little life so they can all go suck it.
It's been a very difficult few days. One minute we're fine, the next sobbing and clinging to each other. I didn't sleep for 3 days and now feel like I got hit by a truck. I have a follow up with the doctor this afternoon so I'll see if I can get something to sleep.
One day soon we'll open our keepsake box and say goodbye to our little angel.
